Masturbation Month Sale!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Masturbation Month! To celebrate, treat yourself to some new, sexy books!

USE CODE MM2021 at checkout

Sale runs 5/1/21 – 5/31/21

Shipping to the U.S. ONLY

Limit one per customer

Get all of the books below for 40% off (plus shipping). Sale is for print books only purchased at www.cleispress.com.

Just click the links below to add them to your cart!

 

FLASH SALE!

 

Act fast to stock up on all your LGBTQ+ books for the summer. From 6/24 to 7/1 get all of the books below for 20% off (plus shipping). Sale is for print books only purchased at www.cleispress.com.

Just click the link to find out more and add them to your cart!

GAY EROTICA

A Ghost in the Closet: A Nancy Clue and Hardly Boys Mystery
A Sticky End: A Mitch Mitchell Mystery
Active Duty: Gay Military Erotic Romance
Afternoon Pleasures: Erotica for Gay Couples
An Absent God
Beach Bums: Gay Erotic Fiction
Bears
Beautiful Boys: Gay Erotic Stories
Behrouz Gets Lucky
Best Gay Bondage Erotica
Best Gay Erotica 2000
Best Gay Erotica 2001
Best Gay Erotica 2002
Best Gay Erotica 2004
Best Gay Erotica 2008
Best Gay Erotica 2011
Best Gay Erotica 2012
Best Gay Erotica of the Year, Volume 1
Best Gay Erotica of the Year, Volume 2
Best Gay Erotica of the Year, Volume 3
Best Gay Erotica of the Year, Volume 4
Best Gay Romance
Best Gay Romance 2011
Best Gay Romance 2013
Best Gay Romance 2014
Best Gay Romance 2015
Biker Boys: Gay Erotic Stories
Blackmail, My Love: A Murder Mystery
Cruising: Gay Erotic Stories
Fool For Love: New Gay Fiction
Foolish Hearts: New Gay Fiction
Frat Boys: Gay Erotic Stories
Gym Boys: Gay Erotic Stories
Hard Working Men: Gay Erotic Fiction
Hot Cops: Gay Erotic Stories
Hot Daddies: Gay Erotic Fiction
Hot Gay Erotica
Hot Jocks: Gay Erotic Stories
Leathermen: Gay Erotic Stories
Love Between Men: Seductive Stories of Afternoon Pleasure
Me and My Boi
Men on the Make: True Gay Sex Confessions
Middle Men: Gay Erotic Threesomes
Muscle Men: Rock Hard Gay Erotica
Pledges: Gay Erotic Stories
Rookies: Gay Erotic Cop Stories
Sexy Sailors: Gay Erotic Stories
Show-Offs: Gay Erotic Stories
Skater Boys: Gay Erotic Stories
Steam Bath: Sweaty Gay Erotica
Straight Up: A Dan Stagg Novel
Studs: Gay Erotic Fiction
Take Me There: Trans and Genderqueer Erotica
Take This Man: Gay Romance Stories
The Combat Zone
The Curse of the Dragon God: A Gay Adventure
The Handsome Prince: Gay Erotic Romance
The Hardest Thing: A Dan Stagg Mystery
The Killer Wore Leather: A Mystery
The Unreal Life of Sergey Nabokov: A Novel
Where the Boys Are: Urban Gay Erotica
While My Wife’s Away
Wild Boys: Gay Erotic Fiction

 

LESBIAN EROTICA

Beebo Brinker
Best Bisexual Women’s Erotica
Best Lesbian Erotica of the Year 20th Anniversary Edition
Best Lesbian Erotica of the Year, Volume 1
Best Lesbian Erotica of the Year, Volume 2
Best Lesbian Erotica of the Year, Volume 3
Best Lesbian Romance 2009
Best Lesbian Romance 2010
Best Lesbian Romance 2011
Best Lesbian Romance 2012
Best Lesbian Romance 2013
Best Lesbian Romance 2014
Best Lesbian Romance of the Year
Best of Best Gay Erotica 2
Best of Best Gay Erotica 3
Best of the Best Lesbian Erotica
Dark Angels: Lesbian Vampire Erotica
Daughters of Darkness: Lesbian Vampire Tales
Girl Crazy: Coming Out Erotica
Girl Fever: 69 Stories of Sudden Sex for Lesbians
Girls Who Bite: Lesbian Vampire Erotica
Girls Who Score: Hot Lesbian Erotica
Greetings From Janeland: Women Write More About Leaving Men For Women
I Am a Woman
Lesbian Lust: Erotic Stories
Love Burns Bright: A Lifetime of Lesbian Romance
Odd Girl Out
Say Please: Lesbian BDSM Erotica
She Shifters: Lesbian Paranormal Erotica
Sometimes She Lets Me: Best Butch Femme Erotica
Stripped Down: Lesbian Sex Stories
Take Me There: Trans and Genderqueer Erotica
The Whole Lesbian Sex Book: A Passionate Guide for All of Us
Twice the Pleasure: Bisexual Women’s Erotica
Twilight Girl
Under Her Thumb: Erotic Stories of Female Domination
Unspeakably Erotic: Lesbian Kink
Where The Girls Are: Urban Lesbian Erotica
Wild Girls, Wild Nights: True Lesbian Sex Stories
Witches, Princesses, and Women at Arms
Women With Handcuffs: Lesbian Cop Erotica
World of Women

 

SEXUALITY/GUIDES

50 Shades of Kink: An Introduction to BDSM
As Kinky as You Wanna Be: Your Guide to Safe, Sane and Smart BDSM
Better Sex in No Time: An Illustrated Guide for Busy Couples
Designer Relationships: A Guide to Happy Monogamy, Positive Polyamory, and Optimistic Open Relationships
Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Healing Sexual Trauma
O Wow: Discovering Your Ultimate Orgasm
Opening Up: A Guide To Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships
Partners in Passion: A Guide to Great Sex, Emotional Intimacy and Long-term Love
The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Strap-On Sex
The Cleis Press Sextionary
The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex: The Most Complete Sex Manual Ever Written
The Kamah Sutrah: A Bawstonian’s Guide to Wicked Good Sex
The Transgender Child: A Handbook for Families and Professionals
The Transgender Teen: A Handbook for Parents and Professionals Supporting Transgender and Non-Binary Teens
The Ultimate Guide to Bondage: Creating Intimacy through the Art of Restraint
The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus: How to Go Down on a Woman and Give Her Exquisite Pleasure
The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio: How to Go Down on a Man and Give Him Mind-Blowing Pleasure
The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge
The Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy for Lesbians: How to Stay Sane and Care for Yourself from Pre-conception Through Birth
The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners
The Ultimate Guide to Sex After Fifty: How to Maintain or Regain a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life
The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability: For All of Us Who Live with Disabilities, Chronic Pain, and Illness
The Ultimate Guide to Solo Sex: All You Need to Know About Masturbation
The Whole Lesbian Sex Book: A Passionate Guide for All of Us
Tongue Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships

 

MEMOIRS/NOVELS/NONFICTION

Black Like Us: A Century of Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual African American Fiction
Furry Nation: The True Story of America’s Most Misunderstood Subculture
Gaysia: Adventures in the Queer East
Immaculate Blue: A Novel
Live Through This: Surviving the Intersections of Sexuality, God, and Race
Lucky Jim
Oedipus Wrecked
Raised by Unicorns: Stories from People with LGBTQ+ Parents
The Right Side of History: 100 Years of LGBTQ Activism
Time on Two Crosses: The Collected Writings of Bayard Rustin
Transitions of the Heart: Stories of Love, Struggle and Acceptance by Mothers of Transgender and Gender Variant Children

 

EXCLUSIVE EXCERPT: BEST OF…

 
What a way to end the year! The latest additions to the steamy illustrious “Best of…” anthologies will resonate with you long after you’ve finished them! In Best Women’s Erotica of the Year, Volume 4, award-winning editor Rachel Kramer Bussel has gathered the hottest sexy stories starring outspoken women who daringly pursue love and lust. Much like a fine wine the Best Gay Erotica series just keeps getting better with each passing year. Enjoy erotic stories about dominant men standing tall and powerful over their submissive, to dashing men with looks to kill for in Best Gay Erotica of the Year, Volume 4 edited by Rob Rosen! Wait, it doesn’t stop there! Best Lesbian Erotica of the Year, Volume 3 proves to be a successful addition to this body-tingling series—the gold standard for erotic lesbian fiction. Edited by award-winning editor Sacchi Green, this latest edition is sensual, inventive, and utterly breathtaking as it pushes lesbian lust and desire to new heights! So dress down and cozy up with any of these hot erotic additions! They’ll keep you warm all season long!

What makes these additions stand out from the rest? Find out from the editors themselves who sifted through piles of entries and selected the ones that truly captured the desired themes like Rachel Kramer Bussel of Best Women’s Erotica of the Year, Volume 4:
 
The first three volumes of Best Women’s Erotica of the Year didn’t have official themes, but when I was compiling Volume 4, I decided I wanted stories on the themes of Outsiders and Risk. While on the surface those may seem incongruous, both spoke to me regarding current events and seemed urgently relevant. At a time when outsiders of many kinds are being ostracized, discriminated against, and shunned, I wanted to explore what being an outsider
feels like on a deeply personal level. I always want the authors I publish to turn readers on, but this time, I also want to make you think.
 
I left it to my authors to define what exactly an outsider means to them, and their characters. All of us have likely been outsiders at one time or another, depending on the circumstances. Outsiders may be able to learn something about themselves via insiders, and in the process enjoy some hot sex…Taking risks in the face of fear has certainly cropped up in past volumes, but the risks the characters take in these stories are heightened. Sometimes these risks are erotic in nature, like trying something new for the first time, for instance posing for an erotic calendar, as the heroine of “Take the Shot,” by Mica Kennedy. Sometimes the risk itself is a turn-on, such as the illicit but utterly arousing behavior of the naughty narrator in “The Dressing Room,” by Alessandra Torre.
 
Sometimes these risks, while sexual in nature, involve confronting aspects of these characters’ core selves that require a great amount of bravery. In “Her Invisible Prison,” by Jocelyn Dex, Eden faces a battle between her desire and her agoraphobia. Her steps out of that “prison”are hard fought and all the more exciting. And lest you think a story involving mental health can’t be scorching hot, Dex will surely prove you wrong. While passion and desire are at the heart of these tales, there’s more happening than simple arousal. There’s a little something for everyone, I’d like to think, within these pages…I hope, at least in some small way, this book entertains you and gives you inspiration to take the kinds of risks these characters do.
…..
Best Women’s Erotica of the Year, Volume 4 is available for purchase at all eBook retailers. Or feel free to purchase a copy at your local bookstore!

Amazon • iTunes • Nook • Google Play • Kobo


Rob Rosen of Best Gay Erotica of the Year, Volume 4:
For those of you who are unfamiliar with my writing, I’m a romantic-comedy author by trade, frequently in the speculative genre. And so, whilst whittling—and since reading and enjoying what one is reading is oh-so subjective—I found myself choosing stories for you that fall into three categories: comedy/madcap, sci-fi/speculative, and general fiction, almost all of it of a romantic nature, a hundred percent of it of the high literary caliber that you’ve come to expect from this annual collection.
 
For comedy/madcap, there’s Clare London’s after-hours romp in a dentist’s office in “Open Up”; Nelson House’s “Dirty Tricks,” with its dirty double-crosses and sneaky Republican senator; Richard May’s naughty Hanukkah-present-filled “Eight Nights”; the farcical romp through the streets of Florence, “Renaissance Miracles,” by the superbly imaginative Michael Ampersant; and closing out the collection, Richard Michaels’s “Forward into the Past,” featuring a private dick you won’t soon forget.
 
Sci-fi/speculative takes center stage in Jordan Castillo Price’s vampiric-virus tour de force, “Appetite.” Kyle E. Miller chooses humanity over the divine in “The Temptation of the Gargoyle.” Vincent Meis’s “Blade of Grass” takes us on an unexpected journey into Turkey. And Michael Roberts has us howling with his cloning mishap tale, “Reflections.” But, of course, there’re even more stories to follow, all of them expertly written and deeply erotic, all by some of today’s best and brightest M/M writers, hailing from all over the United States, plus Canada, the United Kingdom, and France. So, sit back and relax—perhaps spread-eagle or on your knees, just as a suggestion—and enjoy Best Gay Erotica of the Year, Volume 4!
 …..

Best Gay Erotica of the Year, Volume 4 is available for purchase at all eBook retailers. Or feel free to purchase a copy at your local bookstore!

Amazon • iTunes • Nook • Google Play • Kobo


Sacchi Green of Best Lesbian Erotica of the Year, Volume 3:
We open a book hoping to be taken somewhere—to faraway places, into the lives and inner thoughts of intriguing characters, or into times past or even unexplored depths of ourselves. If the book is classed as erotica, we also expect to be intensely stirred both sensually and emotionally. The beauty of an anthology is that we can expect to be taken in multiple directions, and meet an assortment of characters with a wide range of viewpoints.”
 
“Here are some hints as to where the stories I chose will take you, and what you may find there. Could there be a better start than the fantasy-fulfillment story, “Ninjutsu,” set on a plane high above the Pacific en route from Tokyo to Honolulu? And what could feel more real than longtime lovers waking in the “Morning Fog” of San Francisco? How about touring the South of France in “Perfume,” a massage in a Moroccan public bath in “Fuck Me Like a Canadian,” a cabin “Where There’s Smoke” in the snowy North Country, and the surveillance area above the ceiling of a Las Vegas casino where “Oliver: Twisted” begins?”
 
While most of the stories have contemporary settings, two more are set, at least partially, in the past. If you’re old enough to have been swept up in the rock and blues bands frenzy of the ’60s and ’70s, you may catch the significance of September 1970, and even if you aren’t that old, you’ll find out in “Jani-Lyn’s Dragon.” On another tack, “The Night Shift” proves to be just the right time for accidental phone sex. Then the familiar professor/ former student theme of “Rules” travels in unexpected directions and gets as steamily entertaining as they come, while the queer bookstore in “Rainbow’s End” provides an ideal place for a hesitant would-be writer to find just what she hardly dared hope for…Yes, all of these stories include hot, intense sex, in its many splendored manifestations… A word of caution: you may not get jet lag from this journey, but a suitable recovery period between stories is highly recommended. Trust me.
 …..

Best Lesbian Erotica of the Year, Volume 4 is available for purchase at all eBook retailers. Or feel free to purchase a copy at your local bookstore!

Amazon • iTunes • Nook • Google Play • Kobo

Exclusive Excerpt: Tongue Tied

 

Most of us have been there — caught somewhere between expressing our own needs and suffering in silence. It isn’t easy to talk to someone you care about, especially if the it’s about a sensitive topic, like finding new heights of passion in the bedroom.

According to Marriage.com, poor communication is the third most frequent reason for divorce and in a study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, it was found that communication and sexual satisfaction can independently predict marital satisfaction. However, if the communication was bad, sexual satisfaction did not contribute to a relationship’s overall health and success.

And that does not only apply to the married couples. Having solid communication skills is imperative to a person’s success in life, in work, and in the home. We’ve all read the articles, taken the advice, filled out the surveys, read the self-help books that promise you a solution, only to let you down when it comes to practical application. That is where Stella Harris, certified intimacy educator and sex coach, stands out from the crowd. She is not only informative and emphatic, but provides sound advice for improving communication skills in the home, with partners, and in kink play. But, even better, her advice has real applications in every type of relationship from love to business.

Below is an excerpt from Stella’s new book, Tongue Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships on one important key factor in communicating with your partner: setting apart time to have serious conversations in a safe space.

WHEN TO TALK: MAKING TIME TO TALK

This might sound silly, but we don’t always take time to talk to the people who are the most important to us. Maybe you chat about your day, what’s going on at the office, or the movie you just saw, but when did you last talk about your feelings?

Or maybe you and your sweetie(s) don’t get to see each other that often, and you feel reluctant to “ruin” date night by having hard conversations. You just want to enjoy your time together and not risk derailing the evening.

Either way, sometimes the most important things are the hardest to bring up.

Whether you’re simply giving your partner a heads-up that there’s something you’d like to talk about and asking if it’s a good time, or actually scheduling time to talk, it’s important to differentiate “talks” from simply chatting about your day.

You need to be in a different headspace to really share—and hear—heavier stuff about how you or a partner are feeling. That’s why it can be helpful to have a scheduled time on the calendar to talk about how things are going. Depending what your organizational style is, you can even make an agenda for these talks.

Whether you set these talks for once a week or once a month, it can be helpful to know that you’ve got a time coming when you can raise any concerns you’ve been having, set your shared schedule for the coming week or month, and make sure you’re on the same page about the relationship.

If you’re a note-taking type, like I am, you might even keep a running list for yourself of things you want to talk about at the next meeting. Putting something on the list and knowing you’ll get a chance to sort through whatever it is can help take it off your mind in the meantime.

When you have your first scheduled relationship talk, set some ground rules about how you’d like it to go. Are you agreeing on an agenda together? Are you each getting equal time? Are you tackling one big topic, then each adding your own smaller items that have come up since the last meeting? Knowing how the talk will go can be as important as the talks themselves.

Another thing to consider is location. Some people will be most comfortable doing this at home, and for other people having these talks in public is easier. Sometimes being out in the world is a good backdrop to keep things on an even keel, if you’re afraid the talk might get tense or emotional.

The bottom line is figuring out what it takes logistically to make it most likely that you and your sweetie(s) will get what you need from these conversations.

At a minimum, give your partner a heads-up when you want to have a difficult conversation, and check in about whether it’s a good time. Sure, sometimes things come up in the moment that have to be addressed, but if the issue isn’t immediate, you’ll get the best results if you have the conversation when everyone is in the right head space for it. It’s also another way to establish a consent culture within your relationship, by letting people opt in to serious talks rather than being surprised by them.

With clients, I often call these State of the Relationship talks. Just like oil changes, software updates, and putting air in the tires, everything requires ongoing maintenance, and relationships are no exception. Once you’ve decided to have these regular talks, here are some things you might want to cover:

  • Needs and definitions around sex.
  • Household logistics, chores, etc.
  • Vacation planning.
  • Big personal topics that affect everyone—job changes, moves, etc.
  • Your schedule for the coming week or month, depending how often you have these talks.
  • Scheduling date nights.

Sometimes just knowing that you have a built-in space coming up to raise issues can make things feel less urgent. Often it’s not knowing when or how to bring something up that causes the most stress. When you have these talks already on the schedule, you’ll also have a built-in time for bringing up new kinds of sex you’d like to try, or a fantasy you’d like to tell your partner about.

Most people think that figuring out how to start the conversation is the hardest part, so if you’ve got time to talk built in already, you’ve already done the hardest part and you can focus on the information you want to share, rather than worrying about how to bring it up.

Tongue Tied is available for purchase at all major retailers in print and digital formats. Or feel free to order a copy at your local independent bookstore! 

Amazon     iTunes     Barnes & Noble     Google Play     Kobo

 

 

 

Why preparing your kids for sex is just as important as preparing for their birth

 

When we’re preparing for the birth of a child, everything has to be perfect: pack the overnight bag, save the doula’s emergency number to your and everyone else’s phone, have friends and family on call to rush to your aid, make sure the nursery is perfectly prepared with ALL THE THINGS to welcome your little bundle of joy home…

So… Why is it so important to take such painstaking steps to welcome a child into the world, but, for so many, teaching a child exactly where they came from is something that can trigger feelings of shame and embarrassment on both sides?! If giving birth is so beautiful, then why are we not arming out kids with all the information they need in order to survive the years of puberty, high school, growing up, forming healthy relationships, and ultimately (gasp) having sex themselves? Why would we not give as much thought and attention to prepping a nursery as we would to educating our kids to make smart choices about serious topics? Why is it not more common for parents to develop a plan to educate their children about sex? 

It is just that curious, sex-positive line of inquiry that has inspired Alison Macklin, Vice President of Education and Innovation at the Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains, to write Making Sense of “It”: A Guide to Sex for Teens (and Their Parents, Too!) (Viva Editions, September 2018).

As parents, we can choose to leave sex education up to the schools (if a program should even exist in your district) where a school’s teaching plan may not align with your own values/ideals. Or, even worse, kids can be wildly misinformed if your district does not make health and sex education a priority. Personally, I still remember my high school “health teacher,” who was not certified in any way, getting into a heated verbal debate with a fellow student. She believed that cancer IS a virus. Too bad the rest of the world (and fortunately my class) disagreed with her…

Or, perhaps even worse, we can leave sex ed up to the media, movies, music, etc., which tends to paint sex in a truly poor light, misinforming both sexes by conforming to a wide array of unrealistic standards and negative stereotypes.

Championed as the “Our Bodies, Our Selves for today,” Making Sense of “It” can help parents from any background to teach their kids/teens/young adults a variety of different sex-related topics:

  • the human brain in relation to sex and puberty
  • the need for human touch
  • gender roles, sexual identity, and sexual orientation
  • feeling horny
  • various levels of “risk” in sexual behaviors
  • signs of healthy and negative relationships
  • consent culture
  • fetishes, fantasies, sex toys, and pornography
  • choosing when to become sexually active
  • tactics to improve communication with sexual (current or potential) partners
  • how to get help and be an active bystander when witnessing sexual harassment and assault
  • various methods of contraception and abortion

We all know not one family is ever the same, nor is any parent-child relationship, so chapters are conveniently arranged in such away where you can cherry pick your lessons. Making Sense of “It” also includes handy conversation starters at the end of each chapter to help make the “talk” your own, and to forge a closer relationship, which is a challenge unto itself for any teen and parent.

Sex will always be awkward, but talking to your kids about sex shouldn’t be. Making Sense of “It” will help parents everywhere enjoy and appreciate this time as another beautiful step on your parenting journey.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR 

of 

MAKING SENSE OF “IT”: A GUDIE TO SEX FOR TEENS (AND THEIR PARENTS, TOO!)

ALISON MACKLIN has been with the Responsible Sex Education Institute at the Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains (PPRM) for over fourteen years and is currently vice president of education and innovation. Macklin is an award-winning, nationally recognized leader in sex education and holds a Master’s in Social Work from the University of Denver. She is a mother of two who lives in Colorado.

 

Making Sense of “It” is available for preorder/purchase at all major retailers. Or you can always purchase a copy through your local independent bookstore! Don’t forget to mark it as “To Read” on Goodreads!

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Meet the Children of Unicorns: A Challenge to Learn, Reflect, and Disrupt

 

Whether you consider yourself straight and 100 percent hetero-normative, or whether you consider yourself a mere being in a complicated cosmos whose physical manifestations bear little to no weight on who you instinctively gravitate toward when seeking a partner, or whether you consider yourself to be utterly and totally devoid of any and all sexual attraction or attractiveness, you would be hard-pressed to discover something that can bridge those divides – a hypothetical “God particle” that could universalize our opinion and understanding of sex and gender in relation to the family unit.

Now, this need looms ever more important as many are concerned that recently obtained rights may be nullified – that years of hard work, activism, and conversations will be moved backward in time. So, when you next find yourself confronted with hatred, bias, or misunderstanding, perhaps some of the responses below will come to mind. Perhaps the voices of children, even adult children, can be a source of deeper understanding and a path to that unifying, warm, squishy center. As so it so often goes, by only listening to those at the margins, could we hope to understand the power and the unifying force of love and to rediscover the best parts of what it means to be human.

Last month we explored the editor’s note in Frank Lowe’s edited collection of stories in Raised by Unicorns: Stories from People with LGBTQ+ Parents (Cleis Press, June 2018). Following Frank’s mission to provide readers with a diverse array of stories, we wanted to chat with some of the contributors to provide more insight into their experiences. Presented with five somewhat rudimentary and predictably-answerable questions, we were very much surprised to discover a much deeper underlying message—one of hope, growth, understanding, and most importantly love.

(Please note that this interview was conducted prior to some of the more recent threats against LGBTQ+ rights in America and abroad. Contributors to Raised by Unicorns vary in age from 15 to 47. Ages are noted after contributor names.)

1. What inspired you to write your chapter and share your story?

MIKAYLA DENAULT (15): The need for awareness. I seized this opportunity to show how the obstacles my family faces make us stronger in the face of adversity. The main goal of my chapter, “Two Hens and a Chick”, is to erase the line between LGBT and straight families. I want to show everyone that as long as there is love, a family is a family despite small differences that makes us unique and give us a diverse world. My chapter highlights the experiences I have encountered such as my moms’ wedding and the legalization of same-sex marriage in my state. So, overall, the inspiration behind my chapter was to share my perspective in a family with two moms, and how moments in my life motivated me to fight injustices in society and bring about equality.

LARA LILLIBRIDGE (44): Although I just published a memoir about my experiences growing up in a lesbian home (Girlish, Skyhorse 2018) there is such little representation for children of LGBTQ+ families that I was super excited to add to the body of literature.

I came of age in the late 1980s, and knew next to no other children with families like mine. Meeting other children of LGBTQ+ families feels more like meeting long-lost cousins than meeting strangers. So, often, children of the queer community feel as if we are poster children for our entire subculture: what we say about our families will be used by others to represent queer families as a whole. The best way to be seen as individuals is to have more representation in TV movies, and in books like Raised by Unicorns.

JENNY RAIN (47): Growing up as the child of two dads in the 70s, 80s, and 90s, my story finds itself firmly placed between the intersection of the church and the LGBTQ+ community. I love both. I believe both communities can not only learn to co-exist, but to also thrive together. I believe that every child of an LGBTQ+ parent, every LGBTQ+ family, and those who are attempting to find communities of faith have an important story to add to the changing conversation in our nation. I believe that my story can make a difference.

My life’s passion is all about how to change the conversation for LGBTQ+ families like mine both in our churches and in this religiously-motivated world. But, my ultimate goal is to see our nation elevate beyond the partisan and theological conversations around LGBTQ+ families to be less combative and more redemptive. Frank has given me the incredible opportunity to start doing that.

Overall, my inspiration comes from the belief that we all have stories and voices that matter. And when we tell our stories, we encourage other people to be brave with their own stories.

KELLEN KAISER (36): My whole life people have asked me what it was like growing up with lesbian moms. It’s such a gigantic question to consider. I find it easier to narrow in on what a particular moment or experience was like for me. I actually wrote another book a couple years ago, Queerspawn in Love, that focused on a relationship I had for five years in my twenties. I realized after finishing that book that there was still a lot left to explore from earlier parts of my childhood that might be of interest to people. In this case, kindergarten and my parent’s wedding. Writing this, I reflected on how central that time was, both in the creation of my family and in how I interacted with others around my family.

KATE HILLYER (43): First, there aren’t all that many of us who grew up with LGBTQ+ parents, particularly from my generation, so it is important for us to share our experiences. Second, a middle grade novel I am writing has a main character with two moms, and I knew it would be a good way for me to get back in touch with what it was like when I was growing up. I was right; the writing experience was both illuminating and cathartic for me.

PERSIS TICKNOR-SWANSON (21): My mother’s partner encouraged me to write my story because she recognized how unusual my family’s experience was. I sometimes forget that to outsiders my family’s history is interesting or confusing, because to me it’s just my life. But I’d also been thinking for a while that the voices of children of LGBTQ+ families to be included in the narrative of LGBTQ+ experience. We are a growing demographic and the diversity and volume of our stories is important to the equal rights movement. And I’d felt like there wasn’t really a place for me in the LGBTQ+ movement. “Ally” seemed too distant and didn’t encapsulate the depth of my experience. This book has given me a way to express what it has meant to me to be raised by a queer mom and to feel simultaneously unique and part of a group.

2. Were there any surprises or startling revelations about what it is like being “Raised by Unicorns?”

JENNY RAIN (47): First, the fact that the closeness of my relationship with my biological father is no different because he is gay. If he were straight, bisexual, transgender, a person of color, able-bodied, or disabled… none of those labels matter when you are family. Society tells you those labels matter, but they don’t.

Second, gender matters little when it comes to parenting. I know the conservative right will rail against this comment, but I have lived this experience. The roles (nurturer and protector) that my parents have played have been more important to my upbringing. Typically, the male is seen as the protector and the female as the nurturer. But to universalize this and say that a child is only healthy if they are raised by a man AND a woman is to substitute gender identification for roles— and I think that is a mistake. I’ve seen lots of heterosexual couples where the woman is the protector and the man is the nurturer. I’ve also seen same sex couples where both parents play both roles. As long as these roles show up in some sort of a parenting combination, the child is going to be healthy and happy.

Third, being the child of two dads, the Christian church has most definitely been the hardest place to feel safe… This is the antithesis of what should be. Jesus was at heart a countercultural force. He was kicked out of prevailing religious circles because of his habit of reaching out to those on the margins. I am a person who is on the margins of the margins. I AM the person that Jesus would have reached out to, as are my dads. Yet, we are rejected by churches, shunned, and even cast aside as immoral, defective, and abominations (yes, I get lumped into that category, too).

MARY HOLLAND (27): Honestly, writing out my own story had me reflecting more on my experiences as a child and just how much they effected me for the better. I realized that while the goodness in my heart partially comes from those who raised me, it mostly comes from the rejections I experienced throughout my life.

EMILY GRUBBS (21): I remember growing up and being surprised to learn that being LGBTQ+ was, and still is, considered “wrong” by many. My moms raised me to love everyone and have love left over for myself. It was shocking to learn that other children had not been raised in the same way I was. I had to learn that being a queer woman meant facing discrimination, because in our home we never discriminated. As a child I felt like my family was normal, what was shocking is that others thought we were so different.

KELLEN KAISER (36): I was surprised by how emotional I got reading the other chapters. I had expected to enjoy it, but there was something so deeply resonant about finding commonality that caught me off guard. As much as I have understood that there’s a shared culture we Queerspawn have, it is beautiful to see its complexity manifest. After many years of feeling different from others and often alone, it’s healing to feel a part of a tribe.

KATE HILLYER (43): It surprised me to realize how early I had begun to direct conversations in a way to avoid having to reveal that I had two moms. It’s something that a lot of closeted LGBTQ+ people do. I started that in about fourth grade.

PERSIS TICKNOR-SWANSON (21): Some of the surprise is how entirely normal it is. My mom is my mom. She’s also queer, but she is still a mom. So much of my family life is like the stereotypical hetero family: we argue, joke, play, and cuddle. But there are underlying themes of acceptance, openness, and difference in my family with both positive and negative implications. Our backyard BBQs feature mostly lesbian couples and 90s gay dance club music. My mother sometimes gets nasty or judgmental comments from people for her genderqueer appearance. I don’t blink an eye at women kissing women. I feel like I was given all the great things any child would be given by a loving healthy family with the addition of some amazing things only a kid with LGBTQ+ parents would have (like going to gay drag clubs with my mom).

3. What was the most defining moment for you as being “Raised by Unicorns”?

MIKAYLA DENAULT (15): My most defining moment being “Raised by Unicorns” is the receiving the encouragement from my parents to be whoever and whatever I want. My dreams and aspirations have been celebrated and cherished by my family, and I believe this is because they never want me to have the backlash they received from being different.

EMILY GRUBBS (21): This is a tough question! I think the moment it became clear to me what being raised by two moms really means is when I finally accepted my own queer identity. I write in my chapter about my struggles trying to come out as bisexual in high school. However, once I got to college, I started exploring partners of all genders and started to embrace my own queer identity, away from the protection of my parents. I remember “coming out” to my parents my sophomore year of college. I had a partner visiting me at home for the first time and my parents were thrilled. Up to this point, everyone in my family had only known me to be straight. It was not until my new companion was just a few minutes away from out house that I revealed she was a woman. My moms were surprised, but needed no time to accept me—they simply greeted my guest with warm hearts. That’s the definition of LGBTQ+ parenting; you’re free to be and love whomever you want.

KELLEN KAISER (36): Probably being taken out of math class in 7th grade to go speak on CNN about the Sharon Bottoms case one day in 1992. It was a quintessential “Queerspawn as spokesperson” moment. So often we are asked as young people to represent and defend our families and communities.

KATE HILLYER (43): I went to Smith College, and after a childhood of hiding or obfuscating, I was suddenly thrust into a world where having two moms was something to be celebrated. It was like shedding my skin, a rebirth into the open.

PERSIS TICKNOR-SWANSON (21):I am not sure I have a “most defining moment” because I feel like there are so many moments with my mom that have shaped me. Honestly, writing my piece for the book was an important moment for me as a child of a queer mom. Reflecting on my experiences and turning a critical eye on my childhood, helped illuminate just how special and formative it was to be “raised by unicorns”.

 4. What changes do you expect to see in the next 5 to 10 years?

MIKAYLA DENAULT (15): I expect more equality to be reached, and I am hoping that conversion therapy will be obsolete. I expect more acceptance, as well. (A new study by J. Walter Thompson Innovation Group states that only 48 percent of 13-20 year olds identify exclusively as heterosexual.) The world is changing, so with policy changes and spreading love, perception of LGBTQ+ families will have to move with this change.

JENNY RAIN (47): My hope is that we will see the normalization and acceptance of LGBTQ+ people and families. I say “normalization” because right now, we live in an overtly hetero-normative, cis-gender, patriarchal society that runs counter to the realities that many in the LGBTQ+ community are experiencing. Millennials and Gen Z’s are breaking stereotypes, norms, and the binary boxes that we have placed people into. They are disrupting the narrative and owning their place in the rainbow of what it means to be human and it’s beautiful.

MARY HOLLAND (27): I expect to see a more global level of acceptance and understanding. I hope that the stigma behind LGBTQ+ people will diminish greatly regarding discrimination against them in their daily lives.

EMILY GRUBBS (21): I have noticed that the LGBTQ+ movement is constantly evolving and becoming more nuanced. I predict that over time more people will start to identify with the LGBTQ+ movement as labels become more inclusive. My mom, Lisa, asked me the other day what I mean when I refer to myself as “queer”. She explained that when she was growing up “queer” was used exclusively as a slur. I explained to her that, to me, being queer means rejecting socially constructed ideas about gender and sexuality. Although I personally feel proud to biological female, my gender identification is not simply masculine or feminine. Furthermore, gender does not determine who I date, I base my relationships on connection; male, female, trans, non-binary, I can get down with any kind of person. To my mom my queer identity is a new concept, but expanding the LGBTQ+ community, as well as our preconceived ideas about gender and sexuality, is the future of the LGBTQ+ movement.

KELLEN KAISER (36): I’m not ready to fortune-tell about what will happen, but I’m happy to put forth what I want to occur. I want more laws and policy in place to protect and recognize our families. I want more representation of families like ours in media (for us and by us) and in the educational system. I want the Queer community to acknowledge our unique role, even as adults, and embrace us. I want the destruction of patriarchy and white supremacy to hasten further.

KATE HILLYER (43): I have been amazed at the pace of acceptance. When I was in college, I didn’t think I’d see marriage equality in my lifetime. At that time, Vermont became the first state to pass a domestic partner law, and lawmakers had people pelting their cars with rocks. In Vermont! I know that right now is tough because of the recent Masterpiece Cake decision, and because of the rise in violence against LGBTQ+ people, but I also know that as a community, adversity makes us stronger. I think the next 5 to 10 years are going to bring greater acceptance and embracing of the variety of gender identities and sexual orientations.

PERSIS TICKNOR-SWANSON (21): So many more kids with LGBTQ+ parents. At my baby sister’s first birthday most of the queer couples there either had babies or were planning on having them. That means there is going to be a whole demographic of people who can be advocates for the “gay lifestyle”. I am now old enough to speak out about my experience and when people try to argue that having gay parents damages a child, I will be able to raise my hand as proof that isn’t true.

5. What is the one thing you wish to see change to further the acceptance of LGBTQ+ families and their children?

MIKAYLA DENAULT (15): I wish to see more inclusion of all peoples, and all families to teach their children the importance of listening to other opinions and loving everyone. I know stereotypes must be diminished in order for the next generations of families to encourage and support one another.

JENNY RAIN (47): There are several efforts going on in society right now to further acceptance, equality, and normalization. I work with an organization called The Reformation Project (TRP) and they are doing groundbreaking work in the church to promote full inclusion, but also to operate from an intersectional approach.

THIS is my hope with the LGBTQ+ community at large – that we will welcome those on the margins of the margins instead of excluding them. I mean gay rights started because a person of color who was a drag queen raised hell at Stonewall. The fact that it was a person of color has largely been erased from the narrative. The strongest argument that the Supreme Court heard on the marriage equality case was regarding the welfare of the children of LGBTQ+ parents (listen to entire SCOTUS case) and the voices of children were able to contribute in a meaningful way to the case turning in favor. Our fringe stories in the LGBTQ+ community MUST be reclaimed, and our separate movements MUST be combined if we are going to be able to have the impact that we want on society for gaining greater acceptance.

Let’s combine our voices and our efforts so we can create a revolution for the acceptance of LGBTQ+ families for the next generations of rainbow families. I believe this is possible in my lifetime.

MARY HOLLAND (27): My greatest hope is that the discrimination against LGBTQ+ people wanting to start a family goes away in all of America. I wish to see the United States give equal rights to LGBTQ+ individuals wishing to adopt. Children just need love and security, why diminish the number of people wishing to do so by discriminating against the LGBTQ+ community.

EMILY GRUBBS (21): I would love to see changes happen in Discrimination law. While we all are still reeling from marriage equality, the fact is that it is legal to discriminate against LGBTQ+ persons in thirty-one states. Our fight does not end with a marriage certificate; the fight can only end once everyone is truly equal.

I would also like to see the LGBTQ+ movement embrace intersectionality: LGBTQ+ members of color, trans-people, non-binary members, and homeless LGBTQ+ are all examples of members who often get left out of LGBTQ+ advocacy and do not get the support they need. White, gay men are not the only faces of the LGBTQ movement; we need our advocacy to reflect the diversity of our community.

KATE HILLYER (43): I wish more schools focused on teaching celebration of diversity of all kinds. That’s why I love the Human Rights Campaign’s Welcoming Schools program. They’ve got fantastic resources, including book lists, answers to commonly asked questions, and lesson plans, all aimed at teaching inclusion and avoiding bullying.

PERSIS TICKNOR-SWANSON (21): I want there to be all the same legal and financial rights for LGBTQ+ families as heterosexual families. LGBTQ+ families are challenging the accepted structure of how families are built and I want to see social structures change with that. Also, a gay president.

 

 

Raised by Unicorns is available for purchase at all major retailers in print and digital formats. Or, even better, buy a copy at your local independent bookstore! 

Amazon     iTunes     Barnes & Noble     Google Play     Kobo

The Eight Biggest Mommy Mojo Blocks

 

I am sure most Mom’s will agree that the fantasy of having a baby – all the oooh’s and aaah’s, and dreamy Pinterest-worthy visions of domesticity – quickly fade as the new reality of motherhood settles in: a crushed libido, unpredictable lactation, constant exhaustion, and an underlying identity crisis.

But how do you get past all that in order to feel playful and inspired as a woman again, satisfied as a loving mother, and more importantly, to discover a renewed enthusiasm for sex? How do you learn to reconnect with your “new” body? How can you marry your new identity as a mother with the woman, lover, and boss babe you were before?

Thankfully, Dana B. Myers, founder of Booty Parlor, has written an exciting new book meant to help all Mamas dealing with these questions: The Mommy Mojo Makeover: 28 Tools to Reclaim Yourself & Reignite Your Relationship. After encountering this postpartum sexual and identity crisis herself, Dana set out to help Mamas everywhere. Her first recommendation is to take a look at the most common obstacles you’re encountering – the mommy pains that are draining you of desire, lowering your self-esteem, and leaving you wondering if passion will ever return to your partnership. Before you can begin whipping your Mommy Mojo into shape, you must uncover your blocks. If you start by shedding some light on what’s been holding you back from being the alluring and inspired woman, mother and partner you’re meant to be, you’ll be taking the first steps on your path to rediscovering your sexual self!

Here are the eight biggest Mommy Mojo Blocks according to Dana:

1. The Mom Zone

You have a super-busy life balancing the many responsibilities of motherhood. Between schoolwork and activities, cooking dinner and tending to your kids’ every need, the pressure to parent perfectly is burning you out. Whenever you see your friends (probably on a play- date), your conversations revolve around kids and are constantly interrupted by them. Sometimes you feel overwhelmed by the demands of motherhood and that you’re lacking the personal freedom you desire. You might even feel bored to tears with your domestic load, and left wondering where the real you went. Sex has fallen low on your priority list, which is not that surprising considering how much energy you give to your kids. Since you don’t have the energy to nurture the sexy woman within, you feel stuck in the Mom Zone.

2. Low Libido

Since becoming a mother, your desire has been on a slow and steady decline. From hormonal shifts to sleep deprivation, chronic stress, and physical exhaustion, your sexual appetite has waned. It’s also possible that after a long day of the kids hanging from your every limb, you’re “all touched out” and just want to be left alone once they’re asleep! Mother- hood requires being 100 percent “on” all the time, and so you’re always thinking about the safety, well-being, and development of your little creatures. This constant mental multitasking—and likely a lack of self- care—leaves you feeling physically and mentally drained, and sexually uninspired. It’s no wonder you’re too tired to make love after the kids are in bed.

3. Body Confidence

Some moms feel just as amazing as they did pre-baby, regardless of whether their bodies changed, but many more moms view their body in a very different way post-baby. If you’re one of those moms, you may feel depressed about your appearance, or even hate how you look. Your inner vixen doesn’t give you a wink when you look in the mirror anymore. Maybe you’ve started to reject your spouse’s compliments, or you turn o the lights during sex to hide your body. You might find yourself talking trash about your thighs, tush, or tummy. There’s never enough time to exercise the way you like or get your favorite beauty and self-care treatments, all of which leaves you feeling less than thrilled with your post-baby body.

4. Time 

You’re short on it. Short on me-time. Short on kid-free time with your spouse. Short on time to do what you love and to see your girlfriends. You feel like you’re barely getting through your to-do list, let alone finding a moment to decompress and leisurely think about sensual things or get busy in the bedroom. The carefree bonding time you once shared as a couple has winnowed away to nearly nothing. Not only are you desperately short on precious together time, you and your spouse may be prioritizing time in different ways—causing your busy schedules to feel out of sync and driving a wedge between you.

5. Identity Crisis

There is a very real identity crisis that happens when you become a mother—and no one seemed to warn you about it! Perhaps you once a social butter y, with seemingly unlimited time and freedom to explore restaurants, hang out with friends, or take trips. Maybe you were an ultra-productive rock star at work, and then slipped on sexy heels and went salsa dancing at night. You defined yourself by your accomplishments, your passions, your talents. And then you became a mom: “So-and-so’s mom.” Perhaps you chose to take a break from work to raise them. And then you question, Am I just a mom now? And, Am I a good enough mom? And perhaps the biggest one of all, Why aren’t I having more fun with this?! The sudden lack of freedom and the enormous responsibility of caring for a child is a big deal, and it can make you feel like you’ve lost yourself. You might sometimes wonder: Where is the fun, social, sensual woman I used to be?

6Romantic Disconnect

When you brought your baby home, you immersed yourselves in the blissful experience of becoming parents. You swore that having kids wouldn’t change your relationship, but it did anyway. You became 
incredible partners in parenting, and maybe even better friends than you thought possible, but the sex went from hot to obligatory—and the desire and erotic tension you once had for each other began to fizzle out. The steadiness and routine that helps family life run so smoothly has zapped all spontaneity, flirtation, and adventure. Your conversations with your partner are now mostly about the kids, and your once-a-week date nights have turned into once-a-month outings where you’re home by nine. Perhaps you’re even feeling a genuine loss of sexual attraction, and worry he feels the same. The loss of romantic connection is one of the most gut-wrenching and pervasive pains of motherhood!

7. Resentment

Many moms have shared with me that they resent their spouse because they feel unsupported. Moms tend to take on more of the childcare and domestic responsibilities, and can feel like we’re just not getting enough help, appreciation, or acknowledgment. Working moms, SAHMs, ultramodern progressive moms, hippie moms, it doesn’t matter: moms just take on more. But the resentment creeps in when he 
rarely-to-never takes charge of the kids’ activities. or when he leaves for the gym, hangs out with friends, or works on a passion project without considering family responsibilities. It seems like you’re always the one who has to secure childcare while you squeeze in your “other” life (work, hobbies, friends, self-care, etc.) between errands and playdates. Maybe he’s the breadwinner and feels entitled to relax after his workday, while yours just keeps going. Nothing kills the desire for intimate, connected sex like simmering resentment; when it goes unchecked, it can lead to intense hurt and anger, which can (surprise!) result in less sex.

8. Unsatisfying Sex

There was probably a time in the not-so-distant past when you couldn’t imagine using “bedroom” and “boring” in the same sentence. In the pre- baby phase of your relationship, your sex life was hot, heavy, passionate . . . and you expected it to be that way forever. But now, your lovemaking has slowed down to a predictable, uninspiring once-a-week a air: you know exactly what’s coming because it’s always the same. Worse, your 
sex drives often feel way out of sync: maybe he wants more, you want less—and you might even feel pressure from him because of it and struggle to turn o your brain and let go during the act. or maybe you both are stuck in a cycle of sexual fatigue from the relentless emotional and physical stresses of parenting. You’re both spending your energy just getting through another day, and little is left over for feeling turned on together.

If you have nodded in agreement more than once, there is a good chance that you will find a friend in Dana and in The Mommy Mojo Makeover. Books and ebooks are available at all major retailers: Amazon, iTunes, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, Kobo, and many, many more.

Five Signs You Might Be a Submissive

 

Vanilla (adj. vəˈnilə): A person (typically heterosexual) who prefers basic sexual intercourse within a committed romantic relationship. Vanilla people have no interest in “unusual” sexualities or kinky behavior (The Cleis Press Sextionary).

You may have been called “vanilla” or used the term to describe yourself, but what if (and considering the scope human sexuality it may not be THAT big of an “if”) you were more? What if there was a hidden desire just under the surface that is itching to be scratched, explored, and opened up for your enjoyment and the pleasure of others/your partner? Maybe you secretly are a submissive or have one or two never uttered submissive kinks that send off little explosions of interest in your nether regions?

Whether you know about the BDSM scene or if you only encountered BDSM through the box office hit and bestseller, Fifty Shades of Grey, maybe it’s time you did a little exploring yourself?

While there are tons of options to explore in the BDSM scene, let’s start small…

You might be a submissive if:

  1. You like being in charge.

“I want you to write down exactly how you want me to fuck you tonight, darling.”

“Words” by Jo Henny Wolf

Most people may think that a Dom/Domme is the one in charge of a given sex scene. In reality, it is the submissive that will set the tone, lay the ground rules, and set the limits. So if you are the kind of person who loves to plan and then sit back, relax, and watch the fruits of their labor unfold, you may really enjoy experimenting as a submissive!

  1. You enjoy roleplaying (or at least the idea of it).

“On her wedding day, her mother confided that a good wife must find it in her heart to submit gladly to her husband’s desire. She never said how easy that would be.”

— “The Back Room at the Saloon” by Donna George Storey

Ever imagine yourself as an obedient house wife/husband that succumbs to the wishes of his/her lover? A damsel in distress to a shining knight? Or even a doctor’s filthy, little patient? Guess what? In each of those scenarios, there is someone who is a Top (the dominant) and someone who is a bottom (the submissive).

  1. You are stubborn by nature.

“Above all things, you challenge Sir to break your composure; toying with him this way is your idea of a game night.”

— “Symphony of Submission” by Jordan Monroe

While some people want to be in charge, others are just stubborn. If you are stubborn, ask yourself, “Am I stubborn because I want someone to push back? To challenge me?” If your answer is yes, you just might be a sub. A naughty submissive may displease their Dom/Domme/Master/Mistress on purpose in order to push a pre-defined boundary a little further by disobeying an order.

  1. Sometimes… you need a little push to be as naughty as you want to be.

“For him to grapple with an idea meant that I would, too. For when he pushed himself, he pushed me. When he surrendered to his true nature, I yielded entirely to mine.”

— “Lashed” by Dr. J.

Have you often found yourself in a social setting fantasizing about that dark and brooding hunk in the corner or that super-sexy lady at the center of attention? Or have you had difficulty telling your partner that the scene in the movie you watched last night really turned you on and you want to try it? Regardless of the situation, do you find yourself… wanting to be ravaged by your hearts desire? Do you wish they could just read your mind and know all the filthy things you could never utter? Sometimes all a submissive needs is a push to really let go and embrace their hidden urges.

  1. You feel as if you’ve run out of Vanilla options to explore.

‘“And our regular sex doesn’t do that for you?’

My eyes open at the sad tone in your voice. No. That’s not what I mean. “Our sex is wonderful.” Always. “This is just…” I shrug. ‘A fantasy.’ One I would only trust to someone like you.”

—“The Framework of Fantasy” by Sonni de Soto

Were you always the girl/boy with the hottest sexual exploits that are always the envy of your friends? Sex on the deck of a cruise ship at night under the moonlight? Check. Threesome? Check. Orgy? Been there, done that. Even if you have never been into the parts of BDSM popularized by Fifty Shades of Grey there are so many other sides to BDSM and being submissive.

This list was inspired by The Big Book of Submission, Volume 2: 69 Kinky Tales edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel.

This book can be purchased any place where books and ebooks are sold: Amazon, iTunes, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, Kobo, and more!

 

Cleiss Press also offers a wide variety of instructional guidebooks on getting into and/or perfecting the art of the bedroom. Here are some titles that may be of interest to you:

As Kinky as You Wanna Be: Your Guide to Safe, Sane and Smart BDSM

The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic

The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy: How to Turn Your Fantasies into Reality

The Ultimate Guide to Sex Toys

The Ultimate Guide to Bondage: Creating Intimacy through the Art of Restraint

The Cleis Press Sextionary

Exclusive Excerpt: The Mommy Mojo Makeover

 

Hey, Mamas!

Feeling like you can be a sexier version of your current self? Missing that extra bounce in your step that comes with feeling sexually fulfilled?

Dana B. Myers, founder of Booty Parlor is here to help with The Mommy Mojo Makeover: 28 Tools to Reclaim Yourself & Reignite Your Relationship. This practical and actionable guide is meant to help you rediscover and redefine your post-baby body, post-baby relationship with your partner, and post-baby sex life. Yes, there is such a thing!

Lucky for you, Dana is here to restore your hope and start to reignite the passion in your life and partnership with an exclusive sneak peak from one ofDana’s mojo-boosting tools!


From Tool No. 6: Choose Fun over Obligation

When was the last time you used the word “fun” to describe your daily life as a mom? Is it fun to clean up toys, be thrown up on, prepare meals and snacks, potty train, teach manners, run errands, carpool, help with homework, wrangle wild things into bed, and monitor a teenager’s social media account . . . all while juggling a career and your relationship? The short answer: Not so much.

This letter submitted to my website, from Abby, a mom of one, illuminates this issue perfectly:

Dear Dana,

Having a loving husband, my own business, and a baby girl is truly my dream come true, but if I’m honest, it doesn’t always feel so dreamy. My girl is three, and I thought I’d be so much more in-the-moment with her. Instead, it feels like I’m robotically “plugging in the pieces” of our day. I’m always looking ahead to what’s next—a meal, activity, bath, bedtime, etc.—so much so that I miss out on the sweetness of “what’s happening now.” I see other moms having FUN with their kids and it makes me sad. I’m even ashamed to admit that I often feel angry about it. I was also raised to believe that you have to nish your work before you play. And my work—both as her mom and as an entrepreneur growing my business—is never done, so I never allow myself to fully get to the “play part” of motherhood. This leaves me feeling stuck in stress mode and isolation, and it’s certainly not making magic happen in my relationship with my husband either.

Please, please tell me . . . how can I enjoy motherhood more? I desperately want to be a happier mama, woman, and wife!

xo, Abby

I could totally relate to Abby’s predicament. I often struggled to experience the joy “in the moment” with my kids—my mind would inevitably drift to work deadlines or other domestic obligations. While I hate to admit it, I often found the minutiae of motherhood boring, which only made me feel guilty. on top of that, I was mentally and emotion- ally exhausted from constantly shifting between the roles of mother and businesswoman. For me, trying to be everything to everyone at every single moment, meant that I missed out on the joy of being in the here and now. What’s worse is that this inner discord also affected my marriage and sex life. I was often restless, resentful, and unhappy at the end of the day, and my husband was getting the bare minimum

from me—whatever was leftover. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always loved being a mother, but there were times I was downright irritated and overwhelmed by the endless obligations that came with it. Let me tell you something: obligation is So. Not. Sexy.

I wanted to unearth bliss within the chaos, rediscover delight in the precious moments with my children, and find a way to make my life a whole lot of fun again! Something had to shift and I had a hunch it would have to be my attitude. That’s when it came to me in a flash, like a light bulb going o in my brain:

♥ I decided I would CHOOSE FUN, whenever possible.

♥ I would choose PLEASURE over a sense of obligation.

♥ I would choose SILLINESS over boredom.

♥ I would choose AMUSEMENT over irritation.

♥ I would choose MY MOM TRIBE over isolation.

♥ I would choose to SEEK SENSUALITY over strict scheduling.

This radical change in mind-set was a revelation. I realized that, amidst all the chaos and sleeplessness, there is magnificence to be had in motherhood. Why miss out on it? Why not squeeze the pleasure and bliss out of every single moment?

Even with this new attitude, I still had to run the household and get my work done, change stinky diapers and operate on less than six hours of sleep, but I decided I would do it with more merriment. I’d listen to more music, find the humor in the madness of it all, and eat more chocolate along the way. I’d abandon my strict by-the-minute schedule and opt for a more spontaneous family ow. I’d attend more playdates with friends, even if it meant I had to leave work early and finish up once the kids were in bed. Fun would be my choice. And it worked! Motherhood 
became much more fun. I became much more like my old self again. The moments spent doing the simplest of things with my kids became so much sweeter, so much more amusing. I began to get my glow back, and feel like me again. I freed myself of the unnecessary feelings of anger and obligation that were plaguing me, and my Mojo began to steadily rise. Motherhood became more joyful, and that newfound happiness carried right over into my relationship.

I shared this personal success story with Abby and, inspired by my process, she began to focus her attention on finding more fun and plea- sure, and her experience of motherhood changed for the better.

Mama, pleasure and fun are your birthright—they are yours for the taking. That’s not to say that holding onto this lighthearted mind-set is always easy, but it is worth it. When you’re having more fun within the daily grind of motherhood, your whole life will become happier. Fun o sets exhaustion; fun is a way out of feeling blue. Fun melts away fear, doubt, and stress. Fun can keep you from unleashing your inner tyrant upon your kids and husband. Fun makes room for present moment magic with your kids, opening your eyes to the possibility of more plea- sure in all areas of your life—including in the bedroom! Choose fun every day, and you will access your glow once again.


Available wherever books and eBooks are sold:

Amazon.….iTunes…..Barnes & Noble…..Google Play…..Kobo

and more!

 

 

January’s Exclusive Excerpt

 

This month Cleis Press is excited to announce the official publication of our newest book, The Big Book of Submission, Volume 2: 69 Kinky Tales edited by the erotica maven herself, Rachel Kramer Bussel. Rachel is hardly ever one to steal the spotlight, but we felt it was her time to shine as a writer, as well as an editor. To show our appreciation to our devoted fans and voracious readers, we invite you, nay, we ORDER you to enjoy this luscious excerpt from one of her own short stories in this collection, “Choker.” You liked that didn’t you? Well… don’t change your panties just yet…

When I thought I’d just about collapse with my need, my pussy clenched so tight I wasn’t even sure if his cock could t there should he change course, he guided me up for a deep kiss, his lips bruising mine before he gave me a slap across the face that made tears and a smile leap to my face.

Raul untied my wrists, and then made me crawl ahead of him up the stairs, until I was once again kneeling, this time on the bed, blindfolded. Having won back the use of my hands, I wrapped them around his shaft, guiding them up and down. But within a few minutes, he’d instructed me to squeeze his balls, and was slamming his dick in and out of my mouth, the way we both like it.

That’s when I felt it—fingers probing my pussy. I held back my startled reaction, because an even more urgent one was rushing on its heels—sheer arousal. The other times we’d played with other people, it had always been prearranged by both of us. Clearly, this was a special treat for me. “I didn’t tell you to stop,” Raul growled, giving my hair an extra-hard tug as he pulled me up, while the unknown person’s fingers not only plunged deeper, but also played with my clit.