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Why preparing your kids for sex is just as important as preparing for their birth

When we’re preparing for the birth of a child, everything has to be perfect: pack the overnight bag, save the doula’s emergency number to your and everyone else’s phone, have friends and family on call to rush to your aid, make sure the nursery is perfectly prepared with ALL THE THINGS to welcome your little bundle of joy home…

So… Why is it so important to take such painstaking steps to welcome a child into the world, but, for so many, teaching a child exactly where they came from is something that can trigger feelings of shame and embarrassment on both sides?! If giving birth is so beautiful, then why are we not arming out kids with all the information they need in order to survive the years of puberty, high school, growing up, forming healthy relationships, and ultimately (gasp) having sex themselves? Why would we not give as much thought and attention to prepping a nursery as we would to educating our kids to make smart choices about serious topics? Why is it not more common for parents to develop a plan to educate their children about sex?

It is just that curious, sex-positive line of inquiry that has inspired Alison Macklin, Vice President of Education and Innovation at the Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains, to write Making Sense of “It”: A Guide to Sex for Teens (and Their Parents, Too!) (Viva Editions, September 2018).

As parents, we can choose to leave sex education up to the schools (if a program should even exist in your district) where a school’s teaching plan may not align with your own values/ideals. Or, even worse, kids can be wildly misinformed if your district does not make health and sex education a priority. Personally, I still remember my high school “health teacher,” who was not certified in any way, getting into a heated verbal debate with a fellow student. She believed that cancer IS a virus. Too bad the rest of the world (and fortunately my class) disagreed with her…

Or, perhaps even worse, we can leave sex ed up to the media, movies, music, etc., which tends to paint sex in a truly poor light, misinforming both sexes by conforming to a wide array of unrealistic standards and negative stereotypes.

Championed as the “Our Bodies, Our Selves for today,” Making Sense of “It” can help parents from any background to teach their kids/teens/young adults a variety of different sex-related topics:

the human brain in relation to sex and puberty
the need for human touch
gender roles, sexual identity, and sexual orientation
feeling horny
various levels of “risk” in sexual behaviors
signs of healthy and negative relationships
consent culture
fetishes, fantasies, sex toys, and pornography
choosing when to become sexually active
tactics to improve communication with sexual (current or potential) partners
how to get help and be an active bystander when witnessing sexual harassment and assault
various methods of contraception and abortion

We all know not one family is ever the same, nor is any parent-child relationship, so chapters are conveniently arranged in such away where you can cherry pick your lessons. Making Sense of “It” also includes handy conversation starters at the end of each chapter to help make the “talk” your own, and to forge a closer relationship, which is a challenge unto itself for any teen and parent.

Sex will always be awkward, but talking to your kids about sex shouldn’t be. Making Sense of “It” will help parents everywhere enjoy and appreciate this time as another beautiful step on your parenting journey.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

MAKING SENSE OF “IT”: A GUDIE TO SEX FOR TEENS (AND THEIR PARENTS, TOO!)

ALISON MACKLIN has been with the Responsible Sex Education Institute at the Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains (PPRM) for over fourteen years and is currently vice president of education and innovation. Macklin is an award-winning, nationally recognized leader in sex education and holds a Master’s in Social Work from the University of Denver. She is a mother of two who lives in Colorado.

Making Sense of “It” is available for preorder/purchase at all major retailers. Or you can always purchase a copy through your local independent bookstore! Don’t forget to mark it as “To Read” on Goodreads!